NARCISSISTIC

i feign to be clement though internal hemorage occurs. No matter how idyllic i think of how things stack up, no matter how good the scene would be to regale me, no matter how genteel i act, still, the damn apprehension of begrudging i perceive, i try to conceal the discomfort and acquire the reality of the backdrop i see. Fcuk. It damn gets all over my figure and conquers my despair. I don't want to take a glance but I keep on taking a glimpse, trying to gape what it's like when I know one feel bliss with another.

Blameworthiness, resentment, and jaundiced eye can be seen in me though I try to overlook my circumstances but this hunch of aggravation I can't bury.

I may be egocentric on how it appears to be, but I demand that one to be in my possesion. I may be really narcissistic but as long as I can accumulate, I demand the one to be just hand in hand with me..

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I admire and adore and love my blog cause it's the only thing where I can express my worries, grudges, doubts and problems without hearing any complains. ..

I love myself cause the feeling of agony lasts for just a short span of duration. And I guess I have my own way of blocking unpleasant memories that I don't want to remember anymore, neither in the past nor in the present..

So now while Im doing this horse shit entry, my resentment, torment and grievance starts to evanesce.. (few minutes later) ...The defeat of my brain over my heart has vanished already..


--iza--

P.S. some of the words I've used came from the vocabularies we discussed last time in English class... :)